Confessions Of A Rock N' Roll Idiot

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The Mark Of A Rockstar:

The Beatles – A Classic. The stuff of legends. (A)

U2 – Excellent, enduring and relevant. (B/B+)

Nirvana – Makes its mark. Short-lived though. (C/C+)

Bon Jovi – Enjoy behind closed doors. (D)

Air Supply – Simply horrendous. (F)

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McRice Burger

(P 87 for the burger, P110 for the value meal)

Available at all Mcdonald’s outlets

For someone like me who’s always on the road, I find it hard to digest a chicken-and-rice meal while holding a steering wheel and shifting my car’s gearbox. So naturally, I was intrigued by Mcdonald’s latest offering – a thick burger that uses rice instead of bread for buns. So I pulled up to the nearest drive-thru to check it out. The Mcrice burger comes in two variants: Chicken Supreme and Beef Supreme, and from the pictures shown on the counter, it looked incredibly tasty.

However, the meal was a flat-out disappointment. The rice bun tastes burnt and bitter; masking the taste of what should have been very flavorful patties. Second, the burger looks no bigger than the Cheeseburger, which isn’t quite enough to satisfy the male appetite. And at P110 for the value meal, the Mcrice burger is offered at a ridiculously expensive price, which is only P2 cheaper than the store’s best deal – the Quarter Pounder. While the Mcrice burger is perfect for people rushing to work or to school, those who have time to sit down and enjoy a good meal should try something else on the menu. Nirvana

Continuum: Music by John Mayer

(Columbia Records, P460)

Available at Tower Records, Music One and Odyssey Records

“Continuum”, John Mayer’s third studio album, may just be his best work yet. Fresh from his stint with the John Mayer Trio, a blues-rock outfit where he teamed up with renowned session musicians Steve Jordan and Pino Palladino, Mayer takes influences from blues, soul, jazz and rock and fuses them all into an introspective album that sees him tackle bigger issues than his last two studio albums, “Heavier Things” and his hit debut “Room for Squares.” Life doesn’t seem to treat him well, as the first track, “Waiting on the world to change” is a blues-driven ballad that shows the singer-songwriter tackle his generation’s frustration with the status quo. “It’s not that we don’t care, we just know that the fight isn’t fair,” he complains. He gets philosophical on “Vultures,” a reflective ballad that tackles his fear of death. “How do I stop myself from being just a number/ How will I hold my head to keep from going under?” he asks. The entire album doesn’t go beyond midtempo, and Mayer channels this slow groove to create a heart-wrenching song called “Slow dancing in a burning room”, which tackles a failing relationship. On “Bold as Love,” the lone hard rocker on the album, Mayer shows some blazing fretwork, giving justice to the famous Hendrix anthem. Overall, “Continuum” is a perfect, smooth album for those reflective, self-questioning episodes when one deals with life’s pains. U2

The Food You Want to Eat: 100 Smart, Simple Recipes By Ted Allen

(Potter Press, P1500)

Available at: Powerbooks, Fully Booked, A Different Bookstore

Queer Eye For The Straight Guy’s Food and Wine Connoisseur Ted Allen has scored a big hit with this no-nonsense cookbook aimed at beginner cooks and ordinary people who wish to add more fire to their everyday meals. There’s no fancy French jargon or hard-to-pronounce Italian dishes here. Instead, Allen gives the 411 on how to enjoy the food you really want to eat - Killer fried chicken, The Ultimate Hamburger, saucepan mac n’ cheese, four different pizza variants, a paella and warm gooey brownies are just a start. Rather than spend pages philosophizing about the glory of risotto, he goes straight-to-the-point, with clear directions that enable you to visualize exactly how the dish is supposed to be done. The book provides essential education for the first-time chef, as he covers the basics of steak preparation, dressings for every kind of salad, how to handle the hassles of seafood, and great tips on hosting your own dinner party. If that’s not enough to get you fired up, there’s an amusing section on how to make 11 different cocktails, as well as a suggested wine for every dish. To top it all off, it comes with a neat plastic sleeve that makes sure the book won’t get stained while you’re conducting your kitchen experiments. The Beatles

# posted by Stratosphere-20 @ 3:03 AM 1 comments

Pity the four brothers of Edgar “Red” Surtida who must line up for more than an hour in front of their only bathroom while he prepares for work in the morning. After a bubbly bath enriched with vanilla and lavender oils, he scrutinizes his face in front of the mirror, rubbing his perfectly manicured fingers through his soft, moisturized cheeks, checking for any sign of newborn zits. The bathroom door bounds, the hinges of the knob rattle and threaten to fall under the pounding and cursing of his siblings, but 27-year-old Surtida is deaf and blind to anything but his pores. A graphic artist for a mobile gaming company, Red has a daily grooming routine that involves an elaborate method of facial exfoliation and the careful application of pomade on his hair to achieve the glam rock look. Next comes the dilemma of choosing what designer shirt to pair with his Armani jeans and his Lacoste sneakers. He says he spends at least, Php 10,000 monthly on new clothes and shoes. Add to that the P2000-per-month he doles out for his mobile grooming pack, which consists of an SPF-15 sunblock, a high-end facial moisturizer and toner, fragrance, foundationon and eye cream. Surtida isn’t at all surprised by this. "My friends think I’m odd because I moisturize and spend a lot on clothes," he says. "But I’d rather be this than get caught wearing a beer factor shirt and having a face full of acne. There’s nothing to be ashamed of."

He’s probably right. A few years ago, if Surtida walked through the corridors of his college wearing eyeliner and face blush, he would have been ridiculed to death by his classmates. Back then, fashion sense, moisturizing and coffee scrub treatments did not exist in the male dictionary of cool. To be attentive to one’s appearance and apparel was to risk being called “gay” and sissy, and men made sure that the world took them on their own uncombed, unshaven ways.

But now, the definition of masculinity is undergoing a huge face lift. Vanity is in, thanks to shifting gender roles, the immense popularity of makeover shows and the rapid growth of the male cosmetic and fashion goods market. No longer content with being the slovenly breed, men like Surtida are getting full-body massages, trimming their nose hair, overhauling their wardrobes and cleaning up their slovenly apartments in a shot to make challenge the dominance of women as the “fairer sex”. But more than that, looking good can just be what one needs to get that elusive break. “One’s appearance is critical to gaining success in the real world,” says the style-sensitive Surtida. “Attractive people give out a positive vibe to others, and they will definitely prefer to be with someone who smells pleasant rather than someone who reeks of sweat.”

Metrosexuals are the term given to this group of dudes who view pink as the new black and “cleanse, hydrate, exfoliate” as their new battle cry. British journalist Mark Simpson first introduced the term in a 2002 story on Salon.com: "The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis—because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object."

For Simpson, no one lives and breathes metrosexuality better than David Beckham, the Real Madrid football superstar who is infamous for his wild and complicated hairdos, elaborate suits and sarongs, killer aviator shades and his use of makeup and nail polish. He’s sort of “bridged” the gap between male and female apparel, having been rumored to wear his wife’s underwear. Dubbed as a prime fashion icon for men of the 21^st century, he has confessed that he loves being looked at, whether by men or women, and has no intention of toning down his image. Outrageously popular in Asia, Beckham has acted as spokesperson for many top fashion and style companies based in Tokyo, Seoul and Shanghai. “Bend it like Beckham” has become “gender-bend it like Beckham”, as reporters and fans now try to predict what hairstyle he will be sporting on the next game. “He’s the only one I know who can wear eyeliner and makeup and still look hot, and he gets a Spice Girl for all his troubles!” says 23-year-old Mark Spitzer, a film student and a self-proclaimed Beckhamaniac who religiously follows the star’s every style.

Suddenly, Narcissism has gripped men all over the place like a hot, pink fever. In an October 2005 story on Time Magazine, journalist Ling Liu observes that the number of metrosexuals are growing at such a fast pace across Asia that they have become a particular social subculture. In China, they are branded as the aimei nanren or “love beauty men”, self-indulgent bachelors who spend lavishly on manicures, pedicures and facial treatments every three weeks. Korea has its own kktominam or “flower men”, fashion-savvy androgynies who don bright-colored jackets, flashy bling and accessorize their hair with fluorescent highlights. In the Philippines, they are simply called fabs or metros, vain men who try to mimic the “fly” look sported by rap stars like Sean “Diddy” Combs, Kanye West and Pharell Williams. Thanks to Beckham and company, the lines between dude and drag seem to be blurring.

But if there’s a compelling reason why men across Asia are preening like lush peacocks and logging countless hours in the gym, it’s because women want them to. Behind every Beckham wannabe, there’s a Sarah Jessica Parker aspirant urging her boyfriend to buy new boxers and get that six-packed torso. Jem Go, a market analyst for a leading market-research company, says women are becoming more career-inclined and independent, thus able to make more decisions on their own. “They are more vocal about what they want in a boyfriend or a husband. Loyalty, trustworthiness, strength, hardwork (and even a high free throw percentage) – the traditional “Mr. Right” qualities, are not enough to make them go head-over-heels,” she says. Jessy De Borja, a senior communications student, asks: “How can I expect a man to take good care of me if he can’t even clean himself? But if he dresses well and has a fit body, that means he’s responsible and confident.”

And the chic parade doesn’t stop there. Men are also bringing out their baking pans and stepping onto their dancing shoes as they take into heart the advice given out on the hugely popular TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Vic Fernandez, a 22-year-old Hotel and Restaurant management student at the Center for Culinary Arts, follows Ted Allen’s suggestions for food and wine with the tenacity of a true connoisseur. “It’s instant pogi points when girls find out that I can cook pasta, seafood and desserts,” he says. “Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to cook for your love interest. And you can’t impress her with fried eggs. Do your chicken right and she will do you right.” Upon Culture Vulture, Jai Rodriguez’s recommendation, Jarret Sy, a 33-year-old family business consultant enrolled in ballroom dance lessons. “Which is better, spending intimate moments on the dance floor with a hot babe, or drinking beer in one corner of the bar? Definitely any sane man would choose the former,” he says. Luck was kind to him – one of his tango dance partners has become his girlfriend. “Thanks to the Fab Five, I met an amazing lady because I wasn’t stubborn enough not to try new things.” While the said activities were once in the sacred, untouched realm of the feminine, now, “enlightened” and culture-forward men are breaking the stereotype.

So now it seems that men are willing to try anything to keep their ladies’ eyes from wandering elsewhere. However, grooming and fashion are still at the top of the metrosexual pecking order. Great news then, for apparel companies, health gyms and cosmetic services that are expanding their product portfolios to include lines tailor-fit to the needs of men. Nivea, a leading female body care brand, has launched its Nivea For Men line, complete with oil-control facial foams, day and night facial creams, alcohol-free toner and body lotion that’s “specially formulated to meet the demands of the male body chemistry.” Master For Eskinol’s marketing message is simple yet effective: “Sikreto ng mga gwapo (The handsome guy’s secret).” And the Axe commercials blatantly show how one spray of their Pulse cologne is enough to earn you a lap dance from the hot vixen across the room. According to Liu, Euromonitor International, a market-research firm estimates a 67% global increase of sales of male-grooming products to $19.5 Billion by 2008. Such an increase has been met with warm welcome and anticipation by business executives looking for a way to escape the saturated female beauty segment. “I think we’ve explored almost every possible area of women’s beauty needs, so the male market segment opens a lot of new opportunities for growth,” says Go, the market analyst.

Despite the rise of these so-called “flower men”, still, there are certain girls who are not that keen on welcoming them yet. Some claim they can tell when a man has gone “too pretty”. “Being clean and presentable is enough. It becomes freaky when a man starts to border on gay,” says 21-year-old Kriska Landayan, a management major. “I certainly don’t want my boyfriend to look hotter than me!” she argues. “Some of my guy friends look like they don’t sweat at all,” protests 23-year-old Lyra Tiu, a creative director for an advertising agency. “And they spend more time in the bathroom than I do!” 26-year-old Pam Garcia, a physical therapist, feels a little insecure when her beau knows more about the latest fashion trends than she does. “It’s nice that he’s kind enough to join me when I go shopping,” she says. But Garcia too, has her limits. “When he starts showing me what’s great for my hair, or what top would look great with my blouse, I begin to think if he’s more of a woman than I am!” Generally, women want their men to maintain that little ooze of manly crudeness, that rough, unpolished side that tells them they’re straight.

But in the end, the old adages, “Be yourself” and “It’s personality that counts” aren’t enough to boost masculine pride. Ironically, makeup, pink thongs and purple highlights will be the new standards of a man’s character. “We’re living in a time where men are required to dress sharp and have acne-free faces,” says Surtida, the graphic artist. “You can offer a million excuses, but the truth is women today prefer men who have oil-free pores and well-toned bodies.” And if the ladies are threatened by man’s increasing attention to his looks, they should prepare to engage him in the beauty battle. So guys, if you don’t want to get blow-dried by the competition, never leave home without your kikay kits.

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# posted by Stratosphere-20 @ 9:49 PM 2 comments